Time really is a precious thing, isn't it?
We think we have all the time in the world... put things off just one more week, just one more month.
Think we've tried hard enough at something, and figure we'll leave the rest of it for later.
But what if that later never comes?
What if you don't wake up the next morning?
No regrets. Can you truly say that today? That you have no regrets? You've done everything you wanted? You've met everyone there is to meet?
I don't think anyone can.
The best we can do is to get through life with as few regrets as possible.
Do what you can today, don't put it off.
The last time my Grandma called, I remember being busy working on something. It might have been homework, it might have been my website.
In any case, I half-heartedly took the phone from my mom and talked to her.
It was good to hear her voice, sure, but I figured there'd always be next time.
There'd always be Christmas or whatever when we would go visit, or she would come down and see us.
She'd have another cake or some more peanut brittle for us, and we'd sit down to her amazing cooking.
So I treated it as such.
Talked to her, then went back to what I was doing.
What if I had known that'd be the last time I would ever talk to her?
I would've talked to her about everything.... told her everything.
Talked to her until she begged for mercy and my mom had to pry the phone out of my numbing hands.
(Well, maybe I'm exaggerating, but still).
I'm not really sure what to think anymore.
Two people lost now... My grandfather earlier this year, and now my (adopted) grandmother. I can only imagine how my mom is taking it.
Mom, I'm sorry. I wish I could be there for you.
Her funeral is this week. My mom's going. I can't.
I'm on the other side of the country... can't just pack up and leave for a few days.
Somehow, I feel like I'm not doing my duty then.
I loved her... still love her.
All I have now are pictures.
Soon, that's all anyone is going to have.
Is that our ultimate fate?
For everyone to be turned into little bytes of data on a computer, or little points of ink on a glossy 4X6?
The best moments of our lives reduced to a printout on a piece of photo paper?
Or is our true lasting impression on the people we touch and the things we do?
Our true impact measured in memories rather in pages of a scrapbook?
Are we ever truly gone while there are still those that remember us?
But then, what happens when we lose those people?
Do we die with them?
You answer that. I'm not a philosopher.
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