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Tuesday January 13, 2004
Tabloid Article #1
Birthday Countdown: 2 days until I'm 17! Yay!
Heh. First of all, "Dead Baby," a webcomic by me, is now up. Check it out here Also, I have to write two tabloids for English. Here's the first. Enjoy!
Jack and Jill's Insurance Scam Exposed!
In a shocking revelation last Friday, Jack and Jill Yates confessed to have "fallen down the hill" to collect insurance payments for their lavish lifestyles.
Jack and Jill had fallen down the hill a week earlier while going to "fetch a pail of water," as they claimed. Friends suspected foul play when Jack was seen playing Football with his longtime buddies the town butcher, baker, and candlestick maker. It all came to a head this past week when a private investigator, hired by Weepayem Insurance, discovered that Jack had not, in fact, suffered trauma to the head and Jill had not actually broken her arm.
"Quite frankly, we're not surprized," said long time friend of the couple Bo Peep, speaking for herself and her husband, Boy Blue. "They're always rolling in the dough, but they never seem to do any work. We're always out in the field tending the sheep, and they're always at home throwing some lavish party or whatnot. Speaking of which, have you seen my sheep?"
This hasn't been the first scam Jack and Jill have been involved in either. They were arrested but never charged for the famous "Jack candlestick fire" that desimated half of This Little Town when Jack made a failed attempt to "jump over the candlestick." They were also implicated in the Miss Muffet scare, but were not charged due to insufficent evidence.
"They've probably been involved in every scam here in the past few years; havn't worked a day in their lives," said police chief Catshum Redd Handid when asked to comment. "Livin' in luxury off the insurance payments. 'Bout time they were caught."
When asked about possible sentences for the couple, Handid would only remark, "Lemme put it this way: they won't be rolling down any hills for a long, long time."
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