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Monday December 15, 2003
Depressed
Meh. I'm sad. And I dunno why. Which is bad. I dunno, sometimes it feels like no one cares about me. I mean, like for the past three years, I've never gotten anything from friends at Christmas. I know it doesn't mean a thing, but right now it bothers me, you know? And like I don't have anyone I can just talk to about anything, no "best friends" or anything like that. Everyone else I know does. That means they have someone they can talk to about ANYTHING, and someone that will be there when they need it. I don't. *sigh* Janel says I'm going through menopause :-P Isn't that something that only happens to girls? Meh, anyway. I dunno. I'm working on people's christmas presents right now, thinking that no one will even care if I get them anything or not, and thinking what a huge ****ing waste of time this is since no one will even appreciate it. Maybe I shouldn't even be doing this. I have so much other stuff I could be doing like studying for physics or finishing my english project. Dunno, it feels like nothing I do is good enough. And whatever I do just makes people hate me. Meh. And when I get sad, I take pictures. And when I take pictures, people get mad. And when people get mad, I get sad. Which means I take more pictures. *sigh* Maybe I should see a psychologist. Or something. Cause this is the second time this school year I've felt worthless. Or something. Dunno. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow.
BTW Vicki, thanks for trying ;) And Janel too. Nice to know SOMEONE cares about me...
Edit: Well, I also found out I got denied admission to Stanford, even though I applied as Early Action. What a great end to a great day, no?
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